Thursday, October 2, 2014

Why I am grateful that Motherhood is not "What I expected"

I wanted some quiet time to sit down and write this post, but instead I am sitting at my kitchen table. There is a sink full of dishes and dinner is half finished. I earn points for that right? My oldest daughter is going on the hour two of the nap that she clearly didn't need and the little one is crawling around under my feet looking for something to eat Just Kidding! (well maybe not)
Anyways I have had this post in my head for a long time. I had all intentions of writing it last night while I sipped a seeping hot cup of tea. I went to bed instead. I enjoy going to bed between the hours of 8 and 9 pm.. Judge me if you must. 
I always wanted to be a mother. Yes, I went through phases where I wanted to be a dancer, a teacher and a journalist at one point, but mother  always topped my list of future ambitions. I fell in love , got married and we had a child and then another. I had it all. I think this is a dream for many girls I can't speak for everyone though and realize many woman choose another path in life. The truth of the matter is I had  no idea what to expect. There is something ironic about being pregnant you are encouraged to rest, pamper yourself and  eat whatever you want "Take care of mama and baby will be just fine" Now when the baby actually gets here that is when things get real. I wanted to believe that I knew what to expect. The reality of the matter is I had no clue. I really didn't. I had ideas of how it would be , fantasies and images of horror burned in my mind. I assumed my experience would be something in between. 
I guess this is why it took me so long to write this post  because the minute I realized that I was grossly under prepared for this "new" role in my life I began to feel "inadequate" and a bit of a failure. I didn't realize until recently that with all of the challenges and surprises of being a Mom comes a crazy amount of Grace. You will mess up you will do things that you said you would never do and there is Grace through it all. 
Which leads me to my next point. It's a confession. If I knew exactly what this job was going to entail would I have willingly signed up? The answer would be "probably not". But that is the beauty of God and the way he created our lives. Motherhood is a calling it's a call to be greater than we believe we can be. It's a call for sacrifice It's a call to love, to nurture, to protect, to teach among so many other requirements. It's not something simple that can be wrapped up in a pretty little package. Great things never are. We serve a God who is amazing, He is great, He is powerful and righteous. He calls us to be all of these things. Will we fail. Absolutely! , But he is here for us. To guide us, to give  us the strength to go on even when it seems we have nothing left. He designed this life to be "unexpected" Raw, filled with ups and downs, Happy surprises and things that will rock us to the core. Motherhood is a lesson in all  of this. This is why I am so grateful that I didn't know what I was "signing up for" when I was Called to be a mother. I would not have it any other way. Its much more difficult, wonderful, messy, beautiful, painful, joyful and Amazing than my human mind is capable of imagining, believing or comprehending. I only wish I realized this sooner. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Tough Days.

We all have days where we just feel like we are hanging by a string. I didn't get much sleep last night. I was probably my fault. I drank coffee too close to bedtime. I watched 19 Kids and Counting till Gasp 10 pm! Then I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep and just as I was drifting off the baby woke up. Our 1 year old doesn't sleep through the night. It is what it is. We are not doing any kind of sleep training right now. Feeding her usually settles her right back down. Sometimes I have a hard time falling asleep though after I get back down. Needless to say today has been a tough day. There are going to be tough days as a mom. I am three years into this gig and I learned that pretty quickly. I had help the past couple of days between the holiday weekend and my oldest getting sick. Thank God for husband. You might ask what the point of this post is. Its not to be negative or bash being a mom. Its simply to say that whether or not your sahm or work full time its ok to have a tough day. I read this once and really liked it. Its a bad day , Not a bad life. Words of wisdom. I also like this one "Not everyday is Good but there is something good in Everyday!" Amen to that. I don't think there are truer words. I love being a mom. Even on the tough days. I find something to make me smile. Its usually my girls. Even when we are all having "One of those days" I look at them and smile because even the worst day with them is better just because they are here with me :-)

Good Bye Facebook!

Yesterday I took the plunge. I suspended my facebook account. I was spending far to much time on fb. Its consuming my every waking moment. My breaks from other household duties would include logging onto facebook. I was wound tightly enough and then seeing something on fb would just push me a little more over the edge it wasn't pretty. At first I thought maybe I just remove some of the people from my friends list that I didn't regularly communicate with then I woke up yesterday morning and decided that FB was getting in the way of more important things. Primarily my relationship with God and also my relationship with Chris and my kiddos. I want to be present as a wife and a mother. Spending so much time on fb was making that very difficult. I decided it was time for a change. So I decided no more facebook right now. For now I will communicate via text, E-mail and phone calls... PHONE CALLS are actually the closet thing we get to a face to face meeting in todays society. Its pretty sad. I have also decided that I will make use of the beautiful camera that Chris got me for my 30th Birthday and take lots of pictures of the girls. High qaulity pictures which I will print out so we have them for years to come. I am working on becoming more intentional in my life. Actually thinking hard about how I spend my time. Time is precious. I figure even if I blog weekly that is progress. So right now I am seeing how this goes. Day 1 was actually pretty good. I spent time reading the bible. Cleaning the house. Talking to my mom on the phone and playing with the girls. Stay tuned for more posts and updates on everything going in the Moeck household :-)

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Starting over

I am not even going to attempt to fill everyone in on the past 6 or 7 months! Basically just really busy taking care of two little ones and watching them grow before my very eyes. Instead I will post some recent pictures of what has been going on around here :-) I am vowing right here and right now to be better about keeping this blog updated. I really enjoy writing and keeping track of everything going on in our family so I am going to make more of a conscious effort to Blog!